Heartbeats

THE TWELVE STEPS OF HEART t' HEART

1. We admitted we were powerless over compulsive/addictive behaviors -- that our lives had become unmanageable. (Mosiah 4:5; Alma 26:12)

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Mosiah 4:9; Alma 26:12)

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (2 Nephi 10:24; Omni 1:26; Mosiah 3:19, 2 Nephi 4:34)

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves (Alma 15:17; Mosiah 4:2; Jacob 4:6-7; Ether 12:27)

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (Mosiah 26:29; Alma 22:18)

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (Helaman 3:35, 2 Nephi 31:19; Mosiah 2:20-21)

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (Alma 36:18; Alma 38:8; Moroni 10:32; Mosiah 5:2; Alma 34:15-16)

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (3 Nephi 12:9; 3 Nephi 12:24; 3 Nephi 12:44-45)

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (Mosiah 27:35; 3 Nephi 12:25; Mosiah 26:30)

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (2 Nephi 4:18; 2 Nephi 10:20; Mosiah 26:30)

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. (2 Nephi 32:3; Alma 37:37; Helaman 10:4)

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others still suffering from the effects of compulsive behaviors and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Alma 5:7; Mosiah 27:36-37; Moroni 7:3)

The Twelve Steps have been adapted for use in Heart t' Heart with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous. Such use implies absolutely no affiliation between AA and HtH.

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Please note that the scriptural references displayed here have been used to create a "scriptural version" of each step. The scriptural version may be found in all full-length printings of Heart t' Heart's twelve steps.

News At A Glance

8th Annual Conference of Heart t' Heart will be held on September 10^th and 11^th, 1999 in Orem, Utah at Utah Valley State College.

• Heart t' Heart now has its own web site. Look for it at www.heart-t-heart.org.
• Heart t' Heart now has a new, improved telephone line. Though it is still answered electronically, it is monitored every evening and calls are returned the next day. The number is (435) 245-3723.
• A "Trusted Servants Bulletin" will be a monthly insert included with Heartbeats that will offer guidelines and suggestions for those serving as group contact persons. If you are not a contact person for a group, but would like a copy of this bulletin, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Heartbeats return address.
• Heart t' Heart continues to grow. Please note the new meetings on the enclosed current meeting list.
• Victoria, British Columbia on Vancouver Island continues to add to the number of Heart t' Heart groups because of the full support of their Stake Presidency.

K.I.S.S. - KEEP IT SIMPLE, SWEETHEART

Write a letter, attach the news. How much simpler can it be? That's what the "voice"-the impression-of sanity communicated to me, this morning, as I wrestled once again with the challenge of typesetting this newsletter.

Over the last six months, since my marriage, I have participated with the other members of the Heartbeats staff to try to find a finer, fancier way of creating a newsletter for the growing fellowship of Heart t' Heart, and I'm chagrined to say, you have seen the results-no newsletter at all.

Over and over we tried to figure out different software, different formats, different mailing schedules that would work. And meanwhile the months have continued to pass.

And finally, this morning, as I was praying, the witness came to my mind to just open a new document and believe with all my heart that just my plain, simple, un-fancy word-processing program would be sufficient for our needs. I suddenly realized that-as we all so often do-I have waited far too long and tried far to hard to say something very simple-I (and we all on the General Service level of Ht'H) love each of you.

And now, the same influence, the same Source of inspiration is whispering to me to strike the "s" off the end of "Friends" at the beginning of this column and to be true to my greatest desire, which is to communicate with each one of you singularly, one-on-one, heart-to-heart. In doing so, I would only be following the example of our Lord. I have an undeniable witness that He would have died for any one of us. I would write this "column," edit this newsletter if there were only one of you reading it.

I love you, each one of you-though there are increasing numbers of you I haven't had the blessing to meet in person. I love you for being here, on this planet, at this point in the history of the world-and hanging in there with the rest of us. I know, sometimes, it feels like its "by the skin of your teeth" as the saying goes. I love you for being tenacious and persistent enough to seek recovery and to do it within the context of the LDS faith. I am so thankful that through the creation and growth of Heart t' Heart, we can come together and I can share my testimony of the fact that Jesus Christ lives and that He is immediately available to all of us if we seek him with a broken heart and with real intent. Through the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, we can receive the living, expedient counsel of Christ.

In 2 Nephi 32, Nephi teaches this precept, and in Moroni 8:7-9 we have the practice modeled for us by Mormon as he writes to his son, Moroni, to share the revelation he received concerning the matter of infant baptism.

How wonderful it is to realize that whatever the "matter" is that we need to inquire of the Lord, concerning, he will counsel us through the Holy Ghost. This direct communication line to our Savior is the "conscious contact" we all seek. This conscious contact is the lifeline, the safety, the iron rod that we all need in order to hang on and hang in there through the heart-breaking trials of these last days. This influence can still the fears we live with constantly in the face of the news-both world news and personal events.

The single greatest gift of (as in from) the Holy Ghost is this Gift of the personal, singular, living presence in your life of your Eternal Friend, Counselor and Comforter-your Jesus (2 Nephi 33:6.) Through this influence words, thoughts, impressions, "pictures" will come to your mind that are so obviously not your own because of their clarity, their plainness, their sureness, saneness, calmness.

Once again that Counsel has come to the rescue of human heart-so prone to confusion and perfectionism. Once again that Counsel has come to the rescue of the stalled-out process of publishing this newsletter. How humbling it is to realize how easy it is to look past this Source of help, this Simple Solution.

In 2 Corinthians 11: 2, Paul speaks of his concern with how subtle the influences are that persuade us and entice us away from the "simplicity that is in Christ."

I don't know how many times we each have to learn this lesson, forget it and relearn it: the answer to all of my problems and perplexities begin and end in the living process of connecting with my Savior-no matter what the situation is I need saving from. I know that the number of times I have had to relearn it just increased by one-this very morning.

I am so grateful for Heart t' Heart-for all of us and each of you who keep coming back and keep believing and keep practicing these principles-no matter how human and faltering your practice may be. -Colleen H.

Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. --Mother Theresa

WHY SERENITY? The other day I was at work and needed to open a cardboard box. I usually have a pocketknife in my pants pocket, so I reached in my pocket to get it. What I found caused me to utter a few words they wouldn't print in the Ensign. When I withdrew my hand from my pocket, it was greasy, and I knew that most of the stuff in my pocket was going to be greasy too. I knew all too well what had happened. A tube of lip ointment in my pocket had lost its lid, and a noticeable part of its contents had been generously spread around my pocket. I knew this was what had happened because it has happened before. (Why then, you ask, do I keep putting the stuff in my pocket? Finding the answer to that might require therapy!) So I gingerly retrieved the gooey contents of my pocket: a tube of lip ointment, its lid (separately, of course), a handful of change, a package of gum, and of course, my pocketknife. It wouldn't have bothered me so much, but I had a lot to do before I could quit for the day and I couldn't put any of it off until the next day. I didn't want to have to work late, so this was a particularly unwelcome delay.

After I had a few minutes to collect myself (a piece here, a piece there, you know) I started to reflect on a tape I had been listening to just the day before. It was a talk Elder Neal Maxwell gave in General Conference in October of 1997. He talked about the attributes of the Savior, and how we can acquire many of these traits, at least in some measure. The trait that he mentioned that came to my mind at that moment was maintaining our "cool" when things fall apart.

So I had to stop and think a bit. Was I following the Savior in this particular situation? It didn't take me long to admit that I wasn't. And then I had the impulse to say "That's surely a high standard you've set for us, Elder Maxwell." And I seemed to hear the reply: "Who was it that set that standard?" And I realized, of course, that it was the Savior, by the example of His own life. At that point I couldn't argue anymore. The point was made-I had some growing to do. And as I thought a little longer, I realized that what we (Elder Maxwell, the Lord and I) were talking about was Serenity. And I had to ask myself: If serenity is part of the gospel, is it a central character trait that we need to put major focus on, or is it just a "finishing touch" that would be nice to have, but you could put it off for a while, maybe quite a while, if you wanted to? Well, one of the major fruits of living the gospel is supposed to be peace, which is really another word for serenity, so maybe I ought to be willing to have it.

But what does this mean to someone practicing a 12-step program? Am I not working my program if I don't have serenity? Maybe we can look at what happens to us when we loose our serenity, as I did during this moment, the other day, at work. Little irritations happen to us all the time. There's no way to avoid them completely-no matter how hard we try. Things go "wrong" several times a day. We can try to hang on to our serenity and say, "Well, I guess this is what the Lord wants me to face today" and try to take things a little philosophically, or we can start keeping track of all the ways "life" has done us dirty, pick up a little bit of anger here, a little discouragement there, and pretty soon we have worked up a pretty good resentment. And the stage is perfectly set for a relapse, for acting out, for the self destruction that addicted and compulsive people know only too well. So, is "keeping our cool" and not getting upset over the irritations that come along every day a vital part of our recovery? I think it is. Maybe this isn't such an impossibly high standard to try to follow. Maybe its just survival. May the Lord help us all to survive. May we look to Him to see how-even in the "little" things. --Phil H.

Prayer and Meditation All Through the Day

Over a year ago, I received a beautiful letter from one of our fellowship who was then living in Twin Falls, ID, and has since moved. Today, as I was composing the pages of this months newsletter I found it and was moved to tears by the following affirmations she gleaned out of her meditation on the 11^th step. She said she wrote these on 3X5 cards and carried them with her so she always had something to focus her thoughts on during idle moments of the day. Whether we might want to follow her example or not is ours to prayerfully decide, but nevertheless, each statement is an amazing testimony and expression of recovery:

• I am becoming aware of the living presence of Christ in my life. The Holy Ghost bears this witness to me. I both receive and believe His voice in my mind. I lovingly accept Him and His direction.
  
• His love for me is limitless and most powerful. I can talk to Him all day long about everything.

• O Lord, what will Thou have me to do this day? I follow Thee, Thy counsel, Thy Holy will. I listen and wait for Thee. Please direct me for goodness in all my endeavors.

• I am filled with the Light of Christ and with the Holy Ghost. I have a oneness with my Jesus, my Savior, my Redeemer. I remember Him in my daily walk, for He really does walk with me.

• I thank Him continually. I can and I have called upon Him to heal me . . . He comes very easily when my heart is full of gratitude.

• My inner vessel is being cleansed. I am fit for the constant companionship of the Holy Spirit of Promise. He brings me over and over again to a rebirth of my Spirit and soul, as I climb higher and higher.

• I do hunger and thirst for the presence of my Lord. I ponder continually the awesome things He has taught me.

• My life is now one continuous walk with my Lord. I engage in an almost constant conversation with Him. The precious mysteries of Godliness are becoming mine.

• I have been and I now am highly favored of my Lord. I experience sweet revelation every day and I walk in that light and truth.

• O God, by the power of Thy Spirit and my relationship with Thee, I open my eyes, my ears and allow my understanding to be enlightened, that I may see and know and understand the things of God. (D&C 76:12)

• I choose not to be blind, I choose to see. I'm ready to look, please show me. I'm ready to listen, please explain. I now see that all things and experiences are for a Divine Benevolent Purpose.

• I am willing to get up early or stay up late, to get in conscious contact with Thee, my Jesus. I pray only for a knowledge of Thy will and for the power to carry it out.

• Numbers 11:29 indicates that God would that all His people were prophets (lived by the spirit of revelation). I have felt His Spirit upon me.

• I have communion with the Holy Spirit. I know the Holy Ghost well. I enjoy the sweet, loving guidance that comes to me day and night. I enjoy this relationship.

• I know that my Lord is able and willing to make all things known to me as I live true to the light and then feel gratitude for each revelation given.

• I seek diligently and consistently. I humbly and willingly ask. My soul hungers. I cry out to Him in a mighty prayer. He answers me.

• Even when revealed truth seems difficult and awkward for me, I do not reject it. I hold it sacred. I plead for more light or further witnesses and examples. I wait upon the Lord.

• My faith is strong enough that a challenge from another human being is perfectly okay and accepted by me. I do not fear criticism nor the rejection of those who do not understand.

• I seek not my will, only His. I seek to live by every word that He gives to me. I shall help to redeem Zion, and to participate in opening up the glorious Millennium.
  
• I am instructed in all things that I should do. I rely wholly upon He who has redeemed me. I am captained by Him.

• O, my precious Redeemer! I do dedicate my heart, my soul, my thoughts, actions-my life to Thee. All that I am or ever hope to be, I dedicate most sincerely to Thee. -D.C.

Program from the Prophets:

The 10^th Step asks us to do a daily inventory. On pages 84-87 in the AA Big Book there is an excellent description of the 10^th step process combined with the 11^th step. The next time we read it, it would be great to cross reference it to the following quote from President Brigham Young:

"Let us take a course to be saved today, and, when evening comes, review the acts of the day, repent of our sins, if we have any to repent of ,and say our prayers, then we can lie down and sleep in peace until the morning, arise with gratitude to God, commence the labors of another day, and strive to live the whole day to God and nobody else." (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 16 or p. 25 in the R.S./Priesthood manual in current use.)

I thank God, every day of my life, for the trial that brought me to a twelve-step recovery group. In the principles of the twelve steps I have found President Young's words fulfilled: "The principles of eternity and eternal exaltation are of no use to us, unless they are brought down to our capacities so that we can practice them in our lives" (DBY, 14/manual, 23). -C.H.