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The
Official Newsletter of Heart
t’ Heart--
A Twelve Step Support Group for the LDS Community |
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| February
2001 |
Volume
10 — Issue 2 |
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| Resting Under the Tree |
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| Obedience Is the Price |
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| President Bateman and his wife Marilyn
recently spoke at a BYU devotional. Their subject was
obedience, using this motto from the Japan Fukuoka Mission,
"Obedience is the price, faith is the power, love is
the motive, the Spirit is the key, and Christ is the
reason." The word obedience often makes my hackles
rise. "Don’t talk to me about obedience," I hear
from deep inside myself, "I know obedience, all right.
It’s what got me sexually abused as a child. I was too
afraid to do anything but obey, and I got taken advantage of
because of my obedience. Obedience is just a tool that
unrighteous authority figures use to control me."
This time, however, I saw obedience more in context. The
motto helped, because I recognized some basic truths, truths
I knew, in what it said. My twelve-step work has
taught me that Christ is the reason for everything I
am today and everything I do. I’m totally powerless on my
own. I fall into the mortal traps of compulsion and
addiction and sin (which doth easily beset me, too).
What do I do to be set free from these problems of my
mortality? I know the answer to that too, I turn my life and
my will over to Jesus Christ every hour of every day.
Suddenly I knew another way of expressing that concept.
Obedience! Yes, obedience. Obedience to His will for me
(which I have to frequently seek to know). Obedience to the
actions that the Spirit urges me to do when it speaks the
words of Christ in my mind and in my heart. I seek this
knowledge because of the love I feel for and from my Savior.
I constantly ask for the power to do His will– and that
power does come from my faith in Him.
I reviewed the motto again, this time backwards, as I am
prone to think and understand best. "Christ is the
reason." Yes, He certainly is. "The Spirit is the
key." Check, again. That’s the way I can connect with
Him and receive the knowledge I need. "Love is the
motive." Oh yes. Why do any of us humans do anything,
if not for love? I need to connect with God and through Him,
with others. That is pretty powerful motivation for me. And
yes, I know where that power comes from, too. Not from me,
that’s certain. It comes from my faith and trust in Jesus
Christ. "Faith is the power." I’m getting the
picture.
What is the action I need to take to put all of this into
motion in my life today? I see it now, and I can even use
the word– obedience. Not obedience to my parents, not
obedience to my husband or my children, certainly not
obedience to the wishes of others who want to control me. I
have to keep my eye single to the glory of God and obey Him
first. Okay, okay, He usually gives me inspiration to obey
some of those "others." But just as I don’t have
faith first in myself or in another mortal– my faith is
based squarely on Jesus Christ– I don’t have to focus on
obedience in those other contexts either. I obey, I submit
totally, to the will of Jesus Christ and to my Heavenly
Father (one and the same, since Jesus also knows the power
of "Thy will, not mine, be done). "Obedience is
the price." I can buy that. |
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| Questions and Answers:
Focus on the Traditions |
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| What About Using Recovery
Medallions? |
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| Many Twelve Step groups award recovery tokens
to members who have maintained abstinence for a certain
amount of time, ie. one month, six months, one year, etc.
Does Heart t’ Heart ever do this? Tradition Four tells us
that each group is autonomous within the guidelines of the
steps and traditions. This means that each group is free to
decide by its own group conscience if these types of awards
will be used or not. The decisions made using the agency of
individual groups must always be balanced by accountability–
taking into account the good of Heart t’ Heart as a whole.
Old-timers in program offer some pros and cons about the
use of recovery medallions. First, it is important to always
keep in mind that changes come from the inside out, rather
than vice-versa. It is Christ who changes our hearts, and
our goal is of course, to completely turn our will over to
Him rather than to white-knuckle a certain amount of
abstinence for an external reward. If that type of reward
becomes our focus, rather than the recovery given to us by
Jesus Christ, it can be a distraction rather than a help.
Pressure to succeed with this external focus may even hinder
rather than help our program.
On the other hand, symbolism is certainly appropriate and
useful in remembering our recovery focus. Symbols are used
extensively by God and in His true gospel. A recovery token
used in this sense may be helpful. In addition, the fourth
and fifth step encourage us to be honest and thorough
in our inventory and to share that inventory with another
person as well as ourselves and with God. Keeping track of
progress in the program is appropriate as a means of honest
inventory and accountability. The tool of sponsorship is
another way that this honest accountability is maintained.
A recovery medallion or token may be used simply as a way
of celebrating time and success in recovery, and that
recovery may be defined however the group or the individual
desires, perhaps as time in the program rather than
back-to-back abstinence. Counting time in recovery can be a
way to help us count the many blessings we have all received
from God. |
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| Newsletter
Focus Topics |
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| Although our focus in Heart t’ Heart is
always first and foremost on Jesus Christ, this year we are
focusing each issue of Heartbeats on the various
addictions and compulsions from which some of us suffer.
That which any of us suffer, makes us all suffer, if we are
one in heart (Zion). Each month we will consider one
addiction, and we invite anyone who would like to submit
their thoughts on recovery from that particular addiction to
please send them to the Heartbeats editor. If your
particular concern is not listed, please send us your
thoughts on that addiction as well.
We will also feature a tool and step each month. Please
send thoughts on these topics at least one month in
advance. Following is a tentative schedule for the
rest of the year: |
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| Month |
Step |
Addiction |
Tool |
| March |
3 |
sexual |
anonymity |
| April |
4 |
food |
literature |
| May |
5 |
work |
music |
| June |
6 |
overspending/debt |
meetings |
| July |
7 |
recovery
from childhood abuse |
prayer |
| August |
8 |
codependency/
perfectionism |
meditation |
| September |
9 |
smoking |
service |
| October |
10 |
anger |
abstinence |
| November |
11 |
caffeine |
telephone |
| December |
12 |
gambling |
writing |
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| From the Toolbox |
| "There was nothing
left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools
laid at our feet." (AA Big Book, p. 25) |
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| Sponsorship |
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| The tools are simply helps for us in working
the steps–which establish a relationship of recovery with
our Savior, Jesus Christ. Sponsorship is one of the most
basic tools. Jesus is our perfect example in sponsorship as
in everything else. Elder Neal A. Maxwell has written an
article in the February Ensign entitled "Jesus,
the Perfect Mentor" (pp. 8-17) This article has some
excellent thoughts on sponsoring.
LDS Family Services Substance Abuse Recovery Groups also
distributes an excellent brochure on Sponsorship. Following
are some excerpts from that brochure.
"What is a sponsor? A sponsor is a
trustworthy person who has a working knowledge of the Twelve
Steps of recovery and is willing to guide another by sharing
his personal experiences, faith, and hope. Preferably, a
sponsor is a person who has been [in recovery] for at least
a year. This person has the desire to ‘carry the message’
of recovery to another who is suffering from the effects of
addiction.
"Can I sponsor myself? Your best thinking got
you where you are today.
"Do we all need a sponsor? Yes! Our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ is the ultimate and supreme sponsor for
us all. However, here on earth, at times we need the loving
hand of another person who can relate to us, guide us and
give us hope. Much of God’s work is accomplished through
other people. By another person sharing his experiences, we
gain perspective and humility and learn how to live and
enjoy life free of addiction.
"How do we determine the right person for a
sponsor? In diligent prayer we seek the Lord to guide us
towards those who will be able to help and ultimately
sponsor us. We listen to group members who share in meetings
for someone who is honest, open-minded, and willing to share
and give to others. We find someone to whom we can relate
and with whom we can honestly and openly communicate. We
look for someone that lives what he shares, ‘walks the
walk.’
"Many recovery issues are gender-specific. As we
begin recovery, we are usually physically, emotionally and
spiritually drained and vulnerable. It is highly recommended
that we do not have a sponsor of the opposite sex to avoid
the pitfall of developing an unhealthy relationship.
"What to expect from a sponsor. It has been
said that a person in recovery must ‘give it away in order
to keep it.’ What does a sponsor give away? He shares the
message of what happened to him and his recovery experience.
"We never need to be alone in recovery. a sponsor
should be available and accessible to his sponsee. As we
progress in recovery, we may find it necessary to change
sponsors.
"What a sponsor expects. As we work with our
sponsor, we must be rigorously honest, open-minded, willing,
hard-working, and communicate frequently. We must truly want
a new life free of [addiction].
"A sponsor cannot do it all. The time may come that
we may be ready to go to our bishop for counsel, support and
help. . . .
"How to be a sponsor. As sponsors, we assume
a critical responsibility toward our sponsee. It is our
responsibility to ‘carry the message, not the addict.’
We are willing to share our time and our recovery. A vital
element in sponsoring is asking for God’s guidance and his
will to be done. We listen. Then act.
"A sponsor’s own recovery must come first. If the
time comes when we can no longer relate our own experience,
faith, and hope appropriately, we must guide our sponsee to
someone who can." (LDS Family Services Substance Abuse
Recovery Groups brochure) |
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| ***** |
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| Scriptural references on sponsorship: |
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| But I have prayed for thee,
that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted,
strengthen thy brethren. (Luke 22:32)
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of
the weak. (Romans 15:1)
Are ye willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they
may be light; yea are willing to mourn with those that
mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,
and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all
things, and in all places . . . (Mosiah 18:89)
And if any man among you be strong in the Spirit, let
him take with him him that is weak, that he may be edified
in all meekness, that he may become strong also. (D&C
84:106)
And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred
things, yea, see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this
people and declare the word, and be sober. (Alma 37:47) |
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| STEP
STUDY–Step Two |
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| Following are some excerpts from the article,
"Born of God," by President Ezra Taft Benson. This
article was published in the July 1989 Ensign and is
recommended study for Step Two in the He Did Deliver Me
from Bondage workbook.
"When you choose to follow Christ, you choose to be
changed. ‘No man,’ said President David O. McKay, ‘can
sincerely resolve to apply to his daily life the teachings
of Jesus of Nazareth without sensing a change in his own
nature. The phrase ‘born again’ has a deeper
significance than many people attach to it. This changed
feeling may be indescribable, but it is real.’
(In Conference Report Apr. 1962, p. 7)
"Can human hearts be changed? Why, of course! It
happens every day in the great missionary work of the
Church. It is one of the most widespread of Christ’s
modern miracles. If it hasn’t happened to you– it
should. . . .
"The Lord works from the inside out. The world works
from the outside in. The world would take people out of the
slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they
take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men
by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then
change their environment. The world would shape human
behavior, but Christ can change human nature. . . .
"Yes, Christ changes men [and women], and changed
men [and women] can change the world. Men [and women]
changed for Christ will be captained by Christ. Like Paul
they will be asking ‘Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?’
(Acts 9:6). . . .
"Finally men captained by Christ will be consumed in
Christ. . . . Their will is swallowed up in his will. (See
John 5:30.)" (July 1989 Ensign)
The Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) echoes
President Benson’s strong words in the description of the
alcoholic who has been changed by God. "We have found
much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth
dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. The
great fact is this, and nothing less: That we have had deep
and effective spiritual experiences which have
revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our
fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of our
lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has
entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed
miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for
us which we could never do by ourselves." (AA Big Book,
p. 25)
"But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning;
wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works
among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power
unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.
(1 Nephi 9:6) |
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| Lifelines |
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| Give me the benefit of your
convictions, if you have any, but keep your doubts to
yourself, for I have enough of my own. |
| --- Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe |
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| !!!!!!!!
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The opinions expressed in this newsletter are those of
the individuals who expressed them and do not necessarily
represent the opinions of Heart t’ Heart as a whole.
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